Dads, Listen Up: Outdoor Adventures Are One of the Greatest Ways to Forge a Bond with Your Kids
There we were, sitting in a tiny rib boat, tearing across the open water, our jaws clenched against the pounding beat of the waves. My two boys looked like strawberry marshmallows in life suits designed to ward off the bitter cold of the St. Lawrence River, not far from the town of Taddousac, Quebec. I was shifting uncomfortably, trying to find a way to comfortably squeeze my large frame between their tiny bodies. The air was freezing, and we were starting to overheat in the bulky watertight suits.
But one of my favourite things about adventure travel with kids is that any discomfort disappears the instant something awesome happens. And, sure enough, it did.
Without warning, a massive humpback whale, just metres from the boat, launched itself into the air. “Breaching,” our Indigenous guide at Essipit Adventures, told us the action was called. A fountain of water cascaded through the air, sending icy, salty water spraying over our exposed faces. In that instant, we forgot about everything else, our eyes glued to the ribbed underside of 30 tonnes of blubber flying into the sky in a moment of thunderous poetry.
The boys whooped, I totally forgot I was supposed to be taking photos and we all got caught up in the moment. From that second on, we were no longer uncomfortable tourists in oversized lifejackets; we were adventurers on a mission.
It’s experiences like this that have helped me to craft unforgettable memories with my kids over the last 15 years. The simple act of prioritizing memories over material things has led to a lifetime of inspiration that has fuelled my love for the outdoors while helping my kids to have stories to tell long after I’ve left this Earth. Along the way, it’s helped develop an appreciation for nature, a respect for the outdoors and an unbound sense of curiosity.
It all started with a hard choice. My wife, Christina, was pregnant with our first child. We were both passionate travellers and adventurers. But kids, well, they require an entirely new game plan—or so we thought. Rather than choosing to follow the trend of saving the adventures for after the kids were “old enough,” we opted to keep on living the life we loved. We made a pact to include our children in those activities and adventures that had brought us so much happiness in our early adulthood.
And it worked. Although not without a learning curve. Overpacking, under-preparing and figuring out how to change diapers on a hiking trail were just a few of the things we had to learn on the fly.
Throughout the years, outdoor adventures have been the focus of any free time that we’ve had. When the boys were little, hiking adventures in local Ontario provincial parks like Sleeping Giant and Killarney were a favourite. We’d challenge ourselves on ever more complicated trails. A mission that helped the boys (and us) gain confidence in our abilities and trust in each other.
As they got bigger, so did our adventures. Epic road trips to the Mingan Archipelago in Quebec, where we camped on remote islands and woke to the sounds of whales breaching offshore and gulls dancing in the sky. Ski trips to Kelowna, British Columbia, where the boys couldn’t believe that mountains could grow that large. My son Cohen said, “It was like they’re reaching for the clouds.” We made journeys to northern Manitoba, where we drove along the edge of Hudson’s Bay and came face to face with the world’s largest bears. All of this with the simple mission of building memories that we could share together.
The truth is that none of this was easy. But let’s face it, when it comes to being a dad, nothing really is. It all comes down to choices. A determination to “make it work,” even when things get difficult.
And they have been.
My youngest son had to tackle a paralyzing fear of open water after a traumatizing experience in the Philippines. We failed, HARD, on a hiking trip in Gros Morne National Park, leaving us feeling like we had completely failed as outdoors-people. We’ve had injuries, illnesses and camping trips where there was more lightning than sunshine. But none of us would trade any of those hardships for the world. They are the moments that build the best memories. It’s the rough times that we look back on together, laugh and shout, “Remember that time…”
That resilience came with time and practice. Starting small, with local hikes and small trips, and gaining the confidence to go bigger as we all got stronger, more patient and gained trust, not just in ourselves, but in each other.
When Dylan overcame his fear of the water on a snorkeling outing in Hawaii, it wasn’t just a win for him. It was a celebration for the entire family. In Gros Morne, as our family hike turned from a short outing to an epic life-or-death struggle, we sang to each other to keep everyone’s spirits up. On those camping trips, we shared time, locked inside a tent, playing cards and singing. Each hardship gave us a choice: to let it get us down or to give us a reason to work together.
Each adventure brought something new to the table and offered inspiration for “what the next big trip would bring.” Soon, we were jetting around the world, hiking in places like the Atlas Mountains in Morocco, the Lycian Way in Turkey and cycling along the coast in search of family history in Belgium. But it’s our home, Canada, that has always offered some of the most outstanding outdoor experiences.
Each adventure brought with it new insights into our own abilities, new confidence in our endurance, packing prowess, ability to deal with challenging scenarios, and a renewed vigour to challenge ourselves even further. Cohen, always a timid adventurer, now leads the way in physical challenges. Dylan, the more reckless and wild child, now looks at things more strategically, opting to look before he jumps (something both Christina and I are VERY thankful for).
But children grow, and their passions change. My family is no different. School, social circles and personal commitments add up quickly in a family of four. And as the years progressed, the biggest challenges weren’t our ability to finish a trail, portage between lakes or climb a mountain. The challenge became finding time when we were all free to experience something amazing together.
I’m a busy guy. My wife has a time-consuming career. My kids, the typical Canadian boys that they are, launched into hockey and quickly rose up the ranks in the competitive circuits. And as any hockey dad knows, this is a sport that eats up significant amounts of time and no longer seems to have any “off-season.”
When the boys were young, taking them out of school for travel and adventure was a breeze. But as their grades progressed and their own priorities became a larger barrier to travel, our family had to compromise. We began scheduling blocks of time in the year when we could undertake adventurous vacations with minimum impact on all of our other obligations. We communicated these times to teachers, coaches and friends so that they knew we had scheduled “us time.”
As my oldest son enters high school this fall, and he has ever-more-important commitments to school, sports, friends and work, scheduling family time is becoming even more vital. These experiences bring to light the bittersweet emotion of raising kids. You watch them grow, spread their wings and launch out into a world that you’ve done your best to prepare them for. And ultimately, they will face the world on their own, with you as a supporting figure, hoping to hell that you taught them the right things.
One of the things that I’ve shouted from the rooftops since I began my career as a travel writer and adventure family travel expert is that life is all about priorities. If you truly want to build amazing memories with your kids and are willing to work through the challenges that this kind of outdoor lifestyle presents, start now.
The easiest thing in the world to do is procrastinate; that’s why so many of us do it. So instead of waiting, blaming a lack of planning or not enough time or money for not starting, just do it.
Find a local hiking trail, pack some water and snacks and go. Do it after school or on the weekend or even before school. But do it, as soon as you can. Learn from your mistakes, celebrate your wins and then plan the next adventure together as soon as possible. Keep doing that until you’ve found your style, your rhythm and your pace.
Sure, there’ll be bumps, bruises, scrapes and arguments. But, in a few years, you’ll be sitting around the kitchen table and one of your kids will turn to you with a smile and say, “Hey Dad, remember that time…”
And you’ll never laugh harder.
