My porn name is John Thomas
Standing in the snow with just my boxers on wasn’t my idea. The producer of my on-line camping show — titled The Happy Camper — thought it would be a good idea to show the layering system used for dressing properly in off-season conditions by having me dress from bottom up, showing layer after layer. I had a serious problem doing the deed. We weren’t in a remote area for the shoot but rather a public park just outside my home in Peterborough. I didn’t have a problem with the backdrop at first; our budget was tight and none of us had the time or money to travel any further for the segment. But I didn’t know I would be standing almost naked in the woods.
“What if someone walks along the trail?” I asked. The producer basically ignored my concern, reminding me that we had seen no one all day and that it would take just a couple of minutes to film the scene.
His words seemed comforting enough at the time, so I disrobed and stood there, showing off my black boxers and pale glossy white skin to the elements. A minute into the dialogue, however, three men wandered up the trail. They stopped sudden in their tracks, gawking at a mostly naked guy with two two cameras pointing at him, a mic boom pole hovering over, and a producer yelling “action!”
In my ear piece the producer whispered “Kevin, for once in your life, say nothing; just let them walk by and we can continue the scene.” His suggestion seemed responsible but there’s no way I can’t say nothing. So, I simply waved to the gentlemen hikers and stated “It’s okay, we’re just shooting a film called “The Happy Camper.”
Three women then came up on the trailhead, which we assumed were their wives catching up on the walk. And that’s when the producer’s words of wisdom came true — one of the male hikers quickly held up his arm to stop their female counterparts from continuing up the trail. “Hold on their honey” he said “someone’s filming some dirty male porn called “The Happy Camper.”
Needless to say, the crew made up nicknames for me the rest of the day — all of which referred to male porn actors. Oh ya, I didn’t know this until then but supposedly if you add your street name and middle name together, it becomes your porn name — mine was John Thomas.
We did manage to film the segment though — check it out on kevincallan.com
