The Happy Camper: Hey U.S.! I May Be Old and Replaceable, but I Am Certainly Not Stupid or Weak

Kevin Callan

February 9, 2026

When I was in Grade 9, a bully smashed a car battery on my skull and, wow, did I bleed. The Grade 12 thug was harassing a student in Grade 8, so I stepped in like most people would (or should) do to stop the browbeating.

The interesting part was when everyone saw the blood spewing out of my head, they all ran away, including the tormentor and the kid I was protecting. I found my own way to the hospital, got six stitches and gained a valuable lesson I would use later in life.

To add to the calamity, the next day, one of my sisters of three, who was two grades older and who was also one of the cool kids in high school, sought retribution for her little brother. I love my sister… but I wish she never did.

She had her brawny football team friends confront and threaten the bully that hit me with the car battery. It was affective. He didn’t bother me, right up to graduation. But my entire time spent in high school, I felt stupid and weak.

I was a shy kid growing up. To help characterize that, my cool sister got the lead part in the high school play as the Wicked Witch, and I got the part as one of her flying monkeys. It wasn’t until later in life that I made the decision to never play the part of a flying monkey ever again.

Just recently, that high school moment came back to nudge me. Some bully on social media mocked me for my decision to not present at any U.S. outdoor shows this year.

I spelled out my reasoning pretty clearly in a past Explore article. Simply put, due to the political strife with the U.S. and Canada right now, I thought it would be smarter and safer to weather the storm at camp rather than blindly paddle out onto turbulent waters.

It wasn’t so much a political statement. I wasn’t pulling a Bruce Springstein here. I was giving an emotional response. If you’re not fully aware, Canada is being slammed by the leader of the United States right now, beyond that 51st state thing. He rambled on during the NATO speech about how Canada would “cease to exist” if it wasn’t for the U.S. To me as a Canadian, that feels awfully like a car battery to head. Just say’n.

The social media thug’s comment claimed that I was getting old, that I could easily be replaced by a much younger presenter anyway and that I was stupid and weak.

I agree with the getting old thing. I turned 62 this year and have been presenting at the U.S. shows close to three decades. But I might also add that with age comes wisdom and grace. I agree that I can easily be replaced. We all can, and I am looking forward to more younger paddlers to stand on stage and educate a growing audience about wilderness protection. I might also add that no one’s accomplishments in life should be so easily swept under the rug. But the last demeaning criticisms tossed at me was unacceptable. I am NOT stupid or weak.

Here’s what I think: if you think Canadians should still come to the U.S., be nice and pretend everything is as usual when your government is very actively trying to destroy our economy and our country, you live in a dream world!

I happened to notice this negative social media comment while I was on my speaking tour in southwestern Ontario. I had decided to expand my Canadian tour when I cancelled my U.S. shows. Maybe it was a subconscious “elbows up” move or maybe just good business sense. I’m not sure.

But there I was, staying in some cheap motel room with a smelly carpet. A snowstorm was raging outside, and I was reading a used copy of Farley Mowat’s classic book My Discovery of America. Ironically, Mowat’s book was based on him boarding a flight from Toronto to Los Angeles back in 1985 to begin a speaking tour about his latest book. U.S. immigration officials refused him entry, with no explanation given. He later found out he was on a list of “undesirables” who were prohibited in the United States for holding views to which the government is opposed.

An interesting read for the night, that’s for sure.

I knew I’d be on the road again early in the morning to reach my next speaking gig, but I decided to take a brief walk out in the snowstorm before bed. My head was spinning. That dissenting comment placed online about me being stupid and weak festered in my brain. It usually doesn’t. I’m a half-full glass type of person rather than the half-empty. I knew that if I went to the U.S. to present, my Canadian fans would have issues, and my American friends would understand my reasoning.

We’d all weather out the storm together and continue to be friends for life.

A good memory popped in my head during my winter weather wanderings. A few years back, I came across an old gentleman who was working himself up a steep and tough portage. He looked at me with sorrowful eyes, cursed his cramped knees and belted out, “It was much easily back in the day!”

My response was quick and simple: “You’re still in my day.” He gave me a smirk and continued up the hill.

This old, certainly replaceable, but not stupid or weak wilderness protectionist can see the end of the portage. But I’m guessing that bully never will. They will carry their canoe through moose muck and hordes of black flies to the ends of time… and never see the end.

---

READ MORE: Adventure, Opinion, The Happy Camper